The Academy Awards at Clearview Chelsea

Last night we went to a screening of the Academy Awards at Chelsea Clearview Cinemas, with proceeds going to the American Cancer Society. Hosted by Hedda Lettuce, it featured mixed vodka drinks, all-you-could-eat popcorn, raffles, and many, many instances of the f-word. There were lots of cheap laughs too, as when Hedda would look at a star wearing what amounted to a pillow sack with a brooch and exclaim, "What the fuck?" It got us every time.

No one escaped her sharp-eyed scorn: Matthew Broderick "looked like a thumb," Morgan Freeman "looked like a pimp," Sarah Jessica Parker was deemed a "beautiful hanger," and Demi Moore was the consummate "crypt keeper." She drowned out a particularly bad speech by chanting "bitch bitch bitch." Sure, such a night isn't for everybody, but then again neither is the milky, self-congratulatory pander that is the Oscars in the first place.

Photo: thanks